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SouthernWolf.net: Humor

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Page 1 of 7 (39 total stories) [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | > | >> ]   

ALL GIRL BIKER BAR Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF 
Humor

An  old, blind Texas cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker  bar by mistake.

He  finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack  Daniels.

After  sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,  'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde  joke?'

The bar immediately  falls absolutely  silent.

In a very deep,  husky voice, the woman next to him  says,

'Before you tell  that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that  you are blind, that you should know five  things:

1. The bartender is  a blonde girl with a baseball  bat.

2.. The bouncer is  a blonde  girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot  tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in  karate.

4. The woman  sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight  lifter.

5. The lady to your  right is blonde and a professional  wrestler.

Now, think about it  seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde  joke?'

The blind cowboy  thinks for a second, shakes his head and says,  'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five  times.

Comments
Posted by Southern on Thursday, March 01, 2012 @ 00:16:38 EST (1481 reads)

South Park on the obese Moore and Wall Street rabble Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF 
Humor
Posted by Southern on Monday, November 14, 2011 @ 10:15:58 EST (1526 reads)

Questions Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF 
Humor

Obama goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and Obama asks him his name.

“Walter,” responds the little boy.”And what is your question, Walter?”

“I have 4 questions:

First, why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?
Second, why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it’s actually worse?
Third, why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preaching and beliefs?
Fourth, why are we so worried about Brazil drilling for oil, but we aren’t allowed to?”

Just then, the bell rings for recess. Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Obama says, “OK, where were we? Oh, that’s right: question time.. Who has a question?”

Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him his name.

“Steve,” he responds.

“And what is your question, Steve?”

Actually, I have 6 questions.

First, why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?
Second, why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it’s actually worse?
Third, why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preaching’s and beliefs?
Fourth, why are we so worried about Brazil drilling for oil, but we aren’t allowed to?
Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?

And sixth, what the F*CK happened to Walter?”

HadEnough

Comments
Posted by Southern on Saturday, September 03, 2011 @ 01:01:28 EDT (1676 reads)

Operating Systems Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF 
Humor

Most computer users understand that you need an operating system to use a computer practically, even if it is not clear why. But many users don't.

    Tech Support: "May I ask what operating system you are running today?"
    Customer: "A computer."

A girl walked into the computer center where I work. She said she was having problems with her Mac. I asked what kind of Mac she had. In an indignant voice, she replied, "Duh, Intosh."

    Tech Support: "What operating system are you running? Windows 95?"
    Customer: (a little too excited) "95, 97, 98, I've got them all!"

After conferring with her husband, it turned out she owned a Macintosh with System 8.1.

    Tech Support: "What version of Windows are you running?"
    Customer: "I got the computer in 2003, so I think it's a Windows 2003. Or maybe it's a Windows 2004? I got it late in the year."
    Tech Support: "Um, ok."
    Customer: "Is that wrong?"
    Tech Support: "No, no, that sounds about right. Tell me, would you know what service pack you have for that?"
    Customer: "Well, when I got to the register, the young man who rang me up said was about the 5th person to buy it. So it might be service pack 5."

A kid in my class joined a conversation I was having about older computers.

    Him: "I have the oldest Windows ever at my house. It's Windows 92."
    Me: "Uhhh, there is no such thing as Windows 92."
    Him: "Oh, well it's something like that. I'm pretty sure it's Windows 94."
    Me: "There's no such thing as Windows 94, either."
    Him: "Well it's something like that!"

more RinkWorks

Comments
Posted by Southern on Thursday, July 21, 2011 @ 23:54:34 EDT (1515 reads)

Pirate Bay founders invent the DDo$ Attack Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF 
Humor
Pirate Bay

Well I have to admit that this is genius. The guys from the Pirate Bay have a a 30million SEK fine which they say they won't pay. However they have come up with a plan where all their users can join in which works like this.

Everyone sends a small amount of money in an electronic transfer to the law firm that represnted the music industry. Suggested amount is 1 SEK (equivalent to 0.13 USD. Apparently the law firm's bank account is only allowed 1000 electronic transactions before it starts to cost them, the account holder money.

The charge per transfer at this point is, wait for it... 2 SEK. Thus after the first 1000 SEK, if people send just 1 SEK it will cost the law firm more than the money they receive to process.

Welcome to the Distributed Denial of Dollars attack (DDo$)

DizzyThinks

Comments
Posted by Southern on Friday, June 24, 2011 @ 23:44:15 EDT (1623 reads)

Demons Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF 
Humor

<@JB> Then had your hard drive exorcised?
<@ThunderClaw> I actually did that once.
<@ThunderClaw> It was a dare.
<@ThunderClaw> I was living in Nebraska,
<@ThunderClaw> and I got called down the street to a particularly computer-illiterate neighbor.
<@ThunderClaw> My buddy Matt dared me to take a look at the computer and deem it infested with demons.
<@ThunderClaw> So I went down there,
<@ThunderClaw> took a look at it (I don't even remember what was wrong),
<@ThunderClaw> and told her that demons had come from the darker regions of Africa and infested her computer.
<@ThunderClaw> SHE BOUGHT IT.
<@ThunderClaw> I took a glass of water,
<@ThunderClaw> blessed it,
<@ThunderClaw> and drew the sign of the cross on her computer a few times,
<@ThunderClaw> and said,
<@ThunderClaw> "IN THE NAME OF LORD JESUS CHRIST, OUR SAVIOR, I COMMAND THEE TO LEAVE THIS WOMAN'S SILICON ABODE AND RETURN TO THE DEPTHS FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!!"
<@ThunderClaw> She paid me 20 bucks and I left.

qdb

Comments
Posted by Southern on Thursday, June 09, 2011 @ 01:01:13 EDT (1675 reads)



Page 1 of 7 (39 total stories) [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | > | >> ]   

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