Humor - SouthernWolf.net

SouthernWolf.net: Humor

ALL GIRL BIKER BAR

Posted on Thursday, March 01, 2012 @ 00:16:38 EST in Humor
by Southern

Jokes Texas blondes
An old, blind Texas cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2.. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and says, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

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South Park on the obese Moore and Wall Street rabble

Posted on Monday, November 14, 2011 @ 10:15:58 EST in Humor
by Southern

WallSt. rabble Moore Humor

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Questions

Posted on Saturday, September 03, 2011 @ 01:01:28 EDT in Humor
by Southern

Jokes Obama redundant
Obama goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and Obama asks him his name.

“Walter,” responds the little boy.”And what is your question, Walter?”

“I have 4 questions:

First, why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?
Second, why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it’s actually worse?
Third, why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preaching and beliefs?
Fourth, why are we so worried about Brazil drilling for oil, but we aren’t allowed to?”

Just then, the bell rings for recess. Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Obama says, “OK, where were we? Oh, that’s right: question time.. Who has a question?”

Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him his name.

“Steve,” he responds.

“And what is your question, Steve?”

Actually, I have 6 questions.

First, why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?
Second, why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it’s actually worse?
Third, why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preaching’s and beliefs?
Fourth, why are we so worried about Brazil drilling for oil, but we aren’t allowed to?
Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?

And sixth, what the F*CK happened to Walter?”

HadEnough

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Operating Systems

Posted on Thursday, July 21, 2011 @ 23:54:34 EDT in Humor
by Southern

Computers OS Humor stupid
Most computer users understand that you need an operating system to use a computer practically, even if it is not clear why. But many users don't.

    Tech Support: "May I ask what operating system you are running today?"
    Customer: "A computer."

A girl walked into the computer center where I work. She said she was having problems with her Mac. I asked what kind of Mac she had. In an indignant voice, she replied, "Duh, Intosh."

    Tech Support: "What operating system are you running? Windows 95?"
    Customer: (a little too excited) "95, 97, 98, I've got them all!"

After conferring with her husband, it turned out she owned a Macintosh with System 8.1.

    Tech Support: "What version of Windows are you running?"
    Customer: "I got the computer in 2003, so I think it's a Windows 2003. Or maybe it's a Windows 2004? I got it late in the year."
    Tech Support: "Um, ok."
    Customer: "Is that wrong?"
    Tech Support: "No, no, that sounds about right. Tell me, would you know what service pack you have for that?"
    Customer: "Well, when I got to the register, the young man who rang me up said was about the 5th person to buy it. So it might be service pack 5."

A kid in my class joined a conversation I was having about older computers.

    Him: "I have the oldest Windows ever at my house. It's Windows 92."
    Me: "Uhhh, there is no such thing as Windows 92."
    Him: "Oh, well it's something like that. I'm pretty sure it's Windows 94."
    Me: "There's no such thing as Windows 94, either."
    Him: "Well it's something like that!"

more RinkWorks

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Pirate Bay founders invent the DDo$ Attack

Posted on Friday, June 24, 2011 @ 23:44:15 EDT in Humor
by Southern

TPB downloads torrents DDO$

Well I have to admit that this is genius. The guys from the Pirate Bay have a a 30million SEK fine which they say they won't pay. However they have come up with a plan where all their users can join in which works like this.

Everyone sends a small amount of money in an electronic transfer to the law firm that represnted the music industry. Suggested amount is 1 SEK (equivalent to 0.13 USD. Apparently the law firm's bank account is only allowed 1000 electronic transactions before it starts to cost them, the account holder money.

The charge per transfer at this point is, wait for it... 2 SEK. Thus after the first 1000 SEK, if people send just 1 SEK it will cost the law firm more than the money they receive to process.

Welcome to the Distributed Denial of Dollars attack (DDo$)

DizzyThinks

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Demons

Posted on Thursday, June 09, 2011 @ 01:01:13 EDT in Humor
by Southern

IRC chat Humor
<@JB> Then had your hard drive exorcised?
<@ThunderClaw> I actually did that once.
<@ThunderClaw> It was a dare.
<@ThunderClaw> I was living in Nebraska,
<@ThunderClaw> and I got called down the street to a particularly computer-illiterate neighbor.
<@ThunderClaw> My buddy Matt dared me to take a look at the computer and deem it infested with demons.
<@ThunderClaw> So I went down there,
<@ThunderClaw> took a look at it (I don't even remember what was wrong),
<@ThunderClaw> and told her that demons had come from the darker regions of Africa and infested her computer.
<@ThunderClaw> SHE BOUGHT IT.
<@ThunderClaw> I took a glass of water,
<@ThunderClaw> blessed it,
<@ThunderClaw> and drew the sign of the cross on her computer a few times,
<@ThunderClaw> and said,
<@ThunderClaw> "IN THE NAME OF LORD JESUS CHRIST, OUR SAVIOR, I COMMAND THEE TO LEAVE THIS WOMAN'S SILICON ABODE AND RETURN TO THE DEPTHS FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!!"
<@ThunderClaw> She paid me 20 bucks and I left.

qdb

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