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SouthernWolf.net: Humor

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Page 3 of 7 (39 total stories) [ << | < | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | > | >> ]   

GHOST SEX Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF
Humor

A professor at the Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands.

Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.

That's really good. I"m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

About 15 students raise their hand.

Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

Three students raise their hands.

That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses and says "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Ahmed, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"

Ahmed replied, "Shit, from back there I thought you said Goats."

Comments
Posted by Southern on Monday, August 30, 2010 @ 14:22:11 EDT (719 reads)

Plumbing Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF
Humor

Three freshman-engineering students were sitting around talking between classes, when one brought up the question of who designed the human body.

One of the students insisted that the human body must have been designed by an electrical engineer because of the perfection of the nerves and synapses.

Another disagreed, and exclaimed that it had to have been a mechanical engineer who designed the human body. The system of levers and pulleys is ingenious.

"No," the third student said, "you're both wrong. The human body was designed by an architect. Who else but an architect would have put a toxic waste line through a recreation area?"

Comments
Posted by Southern on Wednesday, December 30, 2009 @ 23:24:58 EST (930 reads)

Obama jokes Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF
Humor

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.

Have you heard about McDonalds new Obama Value Meal?
Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.

Q: What’s the difference between B-HO and his dog, BO?
A: BO has papers.

Comments
Posted by Southern on Saturday, December 05, 2009 @ 19:33:04 EST (898 reads)

Texas Job Interview Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF
Humor

A man seeking to join a West Texas Sheriff's Department is being interviewed.

The Deputy doing the interview says: "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."

Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says: "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit."

"Why the rabbit?"

"Great attitude," says the Sergeant.  "When can you start."

Comments
Posted by Southern on Tuesday, August 18, 2009 @ 23:30:47 EDT (835 reads)

Harley rider Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF
Humor
Harley rider

Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Harley Biker are all walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie.

The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm.  I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada '  POOF!  With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.

Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land.'  POOF!  Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.

The Biker says, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.'

The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable.'

The Biker sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lights a cigar, smiles and says, 

'Fill it with water.'

Comments
Posted by Southern on Tuesday, July 07, 2009 @ 17:06:48 EDT (830 reads)

159 years ago Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF
Humor

California became a state.

The people had no electricity.

The state had no money.

Almost everyone spoke Spanish.

There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically, nothing has changed except back then the women had real boobs and the men didn't hold hands.

Comments
Posted by Southern on Wednesday, June 24, 2009 @ 15:05:22 EDT (877 reads)



Page 3 of 7 (39 total stories) [ << | < | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | > | >> ]   

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