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SouthernWolf.net: Humor

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Page 5 of 7 (39 total stories) [ << | < | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | > | >> ]   

Eye test Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF
Humor


 

Eye test
Comments
Posted by Southern on Sunday, December 14, 2008 @ 16:41:04 EST (620 reads)

The Blind Bunny Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF
Humor

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop right on his twitchy little nose.

'Oh please excuse me,' said the bunny.  'I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see.'

'That's perfectly all right,' replied the snake.  'To be sure, it was my fault.  I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming.  By the way, what kind of animal are you?'

'Well, I really don't know,' said the bunny. 'I'm blind, and I've never seen myself.  Maybe you could examine me and find out.'

So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, 'Well, you're soft,and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose.  You must be a bunny rabbit!'

The bunny said, 'I can't thank you enough.  But by the way, what kind of animal are you?'

The snake replied that he didn't know either, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, 'Well, what kind of an animal am I?'

The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, 'You're cold, you're slippery, and you haven't got any balls.....You must be a POLITICIAN!'

Comments
Posted by Southern on Sunday, September 21, 2008 @ 20:02:40 EDT (667 reads)

7th Day He Rested Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF Read More...
Humor

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.  Eventually, Michael the Archangel found Him, resting on the seventh day.  He inquired of God, 'Where have you been?' God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downward through the clouds, 'Look Michael, look what I've made!' Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?' 'It's a planet,' replied God, and I've put life on it.  I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.' 'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth.  'For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot.  And over there I've placed a continent of white people, while over here is a continent of black people.' God continued, pointing to different countries.  'This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.' The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to an area of rolling hills and prairie on a large land mass and said, 'What's that beautiful garden spot there?  'Ah,' said God.  'That's Texas, the most glorious place on earth.

Comments
Posted by Southern on Saturday, August 30, 2008 @ 21:04:15 EDT (761 reads)

Dear Abby... Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF
Humor

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas, who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two brother: one is currently serving a life sentence in Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time ' working girl'.

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Barack Obama for President?

Comments
Posted by Southern on Saturday, August 30, 2008 @ 20:44:54 EDT (654 reads)

YES Satellite TV - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad commercial Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF
Humor
Comments
Posted by Southern on Tuesday, July 01, 2008 @ 11:40:33 EDT (686 reads)

OMELETTE Score: More about Printer Friendly Send to a Friend Save as PDF
Humor
Let's use it in a sentence: 
 'I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide.'
 
Comments
Posted by Southern on Monday, May 12, 2008 @ 14:33:38 EDT (729 reads)



Page 5 of 7 (39 total stories) [ << | < | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | > | >> ]   

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